we are not our habits

I've been going through a lot of changes lately; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've uncovered many hidden aspects of myself I've been too scared to face. And I've started working toward changing them and bettering myself.
Something that's been coming up a lot in my reading is the idea that we are not our habits. Our habits, both negative and positive, are called samskaras in Sanskrit, and Patanjali assures us in the Yoga sutras that they do not define us. They're just habits. And habits can be changed.
This ties back to my (still inconsistent) meditation practice. I've been meditating on my bad habits a lot lately. I've been doing tons and tons of self-reflecting on the habits and patterns that don't serve me. I've been trying to "own" my bad habits, instead of projecting them onto others, so I can truly overcome them. That just means being completely aware of the nasty parts of myself that hurt me and others.
I've been starting with something small, that I've been aware of for a long time, but haven't ever really tried to fix. And that's my bad habit of procrastinating. I'm a professional procrastinator; a postponer of action. Not acting and procrastinating are basically synonyms. I'm not proud of it, but I'm owning it. Every night I check-in with myself to see where I successfully overcame procrastination and where I fell short (and always staying non-judgemental and compassionate toward myself). When I check-in I also set intentions for me to tackle the next day. Taking a calm, slow, conscious approach has been incredibly helpful. I don't feel overwhelmed, or that I'm not doing "enough". I'm working at a pace that serves me, and I think the past 2 weeks have been the most productive of my life! And that is the most encouraging feeling of hope I've had in a long time.

:)

on meditation

Elena Brower on meditation.

This finally makes sense to me! I'm seriously lacking in my meditation practice; something about it has always eluded me. I've had trouble truly grasping it. My monkey brain, obviously, is seriously flighty. I've been giving this huge amounts of consideration lately and have generally been thinking about how beneficial a steady meditation practice would be for me right now [and always]. Reading that short piece by Elena pushed out the last little bit of haze in my mind concerning meditation. She's brought the heart into the picture! Lucky for me, I spend a lot of time in my heart as it is. [People have told me before that I actually feel too much. Is that possible as a human? To feel too much? I'm not sure about that...] I've always understood meditation as a quieting of the mind. Reaching that stillness seems easier when I consider what my heart is doing while my mind is slowing down. Elena's approach makes so much sense to me. I literally felt a breath of fresh air and renewed inspiration after reading her wise words.

:)

under-developed

My beautiful friend Lacy is currently doing her teacher training in anusara yoga. She's been throwing lots of tips and resources my way lately. I don't know much about chakras so she sent me this chakra test. It's pretty simple but helpful, and I found it to be pretty accurate for my person.

My root, throat, and third eye chakras are under-developed. I don't know much about the chakras, so this is a good opportunity to see where I'm unbalanced in my life and practice. My test results showed that my heart chakra is pretty open, and that is comforting because I've been focusing on "leading with my heart." That's one of the phrases I've heard the most over the past 4 years I've been practicing, and recently I've been taking it to heart. (Har-har, pun intended). But really, lately my practice revolves around expanding my heart. Knowing that my efforts to open my heart are working I think it's time to start incorporating some focus on the other chakras. Before I took that little quiz I noticed that sometimes I'll close up the back of my throat or clench my jaw in a pose. Closed throat chakra. I think this is a good place for me to start.

Source

I don't have too many resources on opening the chakras, but I'm working on it. And of course I'll post whatever I find here. Right now though, I feel so incredibly blessed to have the positive influences in my life that I do. I practice with my best friend and my boyfriend when I can, and my other friends offer tons of advice! Like how to open chakras by focusing my awareness and then spiraling it. I'll definitely be practicing that!

dewdrops on leaves

this is taking a new direction.
i realized today that awareness is paramount to me. it's important for human survival. therefore, it's important for the earth's survival.
humans are destroying the planet; it's really no secret if you choose to open your eyes to the horrors committed every day.
so in an effort to do my part in building a better future, i feel compelled to pass on the knowledge and awareness i find-- no matter how "small" or obvious it might seem. i believe every little bit helps and if anything is going to be helped on a large scale it needs to start small scale. it needs a solid foundation. good habits as part of a productive lifestyle. smaller parts building up to the whole. you know.

so.
let the sharing begin.