New Year; Full Moon

Wolf Moon, Old Moon, Moon After Yule. I find the names of the different full moons to be pretty interesting. I don't pretend to know a lot about the moon, it's just always been a point of interest for me. Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the energy present at the time of the full moon. I'm incredibly aware of the full moon and all the goodness it brings me on a monthly basis. For January, I read that the full moon was in line with Sirius, the dog star. So that created this awesome GUIDING quality to the full moon; perfect to start the new year! Sages tell us the full moon is a great time to shed things that don't serve us; to start over, in a way. I definitely felt that this month, as I've been solidifying my intentions for the year over the weekend. With the full moon last night, I feel that this week is a great time for me to "start" on the changes I want to make this year.

I purchased The Ultimate Yogi dvd collection with the intention of starting on January 8th, and getting back in the swing of a daily, home asana practice. However, I know myself so well that it'll be nothing short of a bona-fide miracle if I make it to the mat every. single. day. So, for me personally, I'm going to shoot for every other day, ultimately working up to a daily practice. That will still be a challenge for me, and I expect to finish my first attempt at the program in May or June. Another modification I'm going to make is in regards to the diet. Again, I have a hard enough time with eating well/clean as is, so I'm going to set the goal of being 80% better. Eating better is a priority for me this year, but I don't see myself doing the 3 day diet challenges that the UY program presents.

 Maybe sometime in the future I'll be ready to do the challenge in 108 consecutive days, no cheats, and follow the 3 day diet plans, but I truly feel that my modifications will be challenge enough for where I am right now. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm myself and quit (I've been known to do this).

A couple other things you can expect to see on this blog are:

*Personal writings to help me be more expressive

* Trying new recipes to help me eat better (like almond flour tortillas and other "clean" goodies)

*Book musings and after-thoughts

*Things that inspire me (articles, music, images, etc.)

2015 is MY year. I'm going to do what I think is best for me, how I think it'll work best for me. And I'm sticking to that! Feel free to follow this blog and check back regularly. I'll be posting a lot about The Ultimate Yogi program for the first part of the year, but I hope to see this blog mature as the months go on! Stay tuned for yoga, health, and inspiration!

what's your style?

I found this cute flow chart that's supposed to provide insight into which style of yoga is best for you. Who knows how accurate it is, really, but I liked the aesthetics of it and the idea behind it quite a bit. When I did it for me, it led me to Sivananda yoga. I thought this was funny because I'm currently reading The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga by Swami Vishnu-devananda, the founder of Sivananda yoga. I think it only lead me to that because of my interest in diet philosophy. I've been vegetarian for 9 years already, and am adamant about practicing ahimsa in every aspect of my life. So I tried it again. Another option for me was Kundalini yoga. I haven't practiced that style much, maybe only 2 or 3 times, but I enjoy learning about and opening the chakras. So, what's my style? Who knows, I'm still searching.

Where did the flow chart lead you?

:)

this month

I've felt myself waning. My mind has been a jumble of distractions and stress. Having surgery has really affected my personal practice; energy spent on moving preparations have left me with little else to go on. I miss my practice, and yet when I unroll my mat I feel a sense of confusion. I don't know what to do or where to go with it. I've become separated from my flow. Disconnected.

The move is in a week and a half. I feel like if I can get myself through the final touches of it all I'll have more time, or energy, or clarity, or whatever it is that I need, to connect with the Universe again.

I had such big plans for this month last month, and nothing has truly manifested itself. I suppose this is how things typically go. The one thing I can say for certain is that this challenging month hasn't pushed me away from my desire to learn more about yoga; it has been an opportunity for me to truly take my practice "off the mat" and apply what I have learned to my busy, daily life. Some days are more difficult and scattered than others (and this healing process has been way less than pleasant) and I definitely have a lot more practice and learning to do. But it feels good to know I'm starting a new chapter in my life.

on meditation

Elena Brower on meditation.

This finally makes sense to me! I'm seriously lacking in my meditation practice; something about it has always eluded me. I've had trouble truly grasping it. My monkey brain, obviously, is seriously flighty. I've been giving this huge amounts of consideration lately and have generally been thinking about how beneficial a steady meditation practice would be for me right now [and always]. Reading that short piece by Elena pushed out the last little bit of haze in my mind concerning meditation. She's brought the heart into the picture! Lucky for me, I spend a lot of time in my heart as it is. [People have told me before that I actually feel too much. Is that possible as a human? To feel too much? I'm not sure about that...] I've always understood meditation as a quieting of the mind. Reaching that stillness seems easier when I consider what my heart is doing while my mind is slowing down. Elena's approach makes so much sense to me. I literally felt a breath of fresh air and renewed inspiration after reading her wise words.

:)

summer school + yoga

Yoga has gotten me through a lot. A lot.
Currently, yoga is seeing me through an utterly hectic 12 credits over summer. I didn't quite realize how challenging that would be. When I tell people my course load they look at me like I'm insane, they ask me, "Are you insane?!" and honestly, sometimes I do feel insane over it. But now, as the semester nears its end, I feel incredibly confident and strong. Like a flower opening up to the sun, day after day, ready for whatever winds, rain, and insects might come. I attribute this serene feeling during such a hectic time in my life to a few things: First, I'm not working this summer. It goes without saying how much that helps. Second, I have an incredibly supportive web of friends and family. They cook for me when I'm too busy to do it myself, they get me out of the house when I'm at my wits end, and they offer unceasing encouragement through the whole process. Third, I have refused to let yoga take a backseat to my homework. I think this has helped me the most.
I first registered for summer with 14 credits. I had signed up for a 2 credit yoga class that I thought I'd be able to handle because I do yoga so frequently anyway. After the first week of school I realized the extra day of driving and the extra, albeit simple, assignments would be too much for me. I wanted to take the class because, lets face it, I'm lacking any sort of formal training; I've never been able to stick with a teacher, or even a studio for that matter. Taking yoga through school was an opportunity for me to earn credit and progress in my beloved practice under a legitimate teacher. Two birds with one stone, essentially.
Before I committed myself so much to yoga, I was a ball of stress and nerves, anxiety and anger. I know for a fact that if I had neglected my practice during these 3 months I'd be crying daily, waking up and going to bed angry, and basically hating the world around me. I know yoga is the reason I've been able to rise above those hurtful and angry emotions. If it weren't for yoga, I wouldn't be able to express my gratitude to my loved ones that have helped me oh so much these months. It's obvious to others that knew me before my yoga immersion how much this has helped me. It's helped me not only to deal with stress, but to grow into the woman I know I am deep down. It's helped me tap into, and radiate, my true Self.
Surprisingly, it's been in the past 3 months of crazy school work that my abilities have skyrocketed. Before this summer, I couldn't balance on my arms, I couldn't stand on my head, and I wouldn't dream of trying a jump through. Now, I can balance on my arms (sideways, even!), I can stand on my head, and I'm very close to clearing my feet when I try to jump through! The joys I experience when practicing far outweigh whatever other challenges I'm facing in life.
But alas, with 2 weeks left in the semester I caught a cold. I haven't been sick in 3 whole years. My friends assure me students tend to get sick near the end of a semester, so I guess that's why. The cold kept me away from a full practice for nearly a week. Thankfully, I got a full hour in today; the rest of the week is still uncertain. Add that to 7 exams in 2 weeks and you get a compromised practice.
With the end of the semester nearing I've tapped in more to my breath. Deep breathing and silent chants are my salvation this week. And probably next week, until the semester ends. I can hardly think of anything else besides school right now, but I keep having this little thought creep into my head: practice, practice, practice! It's not demanding, it's exciting. I can't wait to dedicate some serious thought and effort into my practice. There are so many things I want to try and refine, but I must be patient. Patience is another thing yoga has taught me ;)
So the moral is: Yoga can get me through anything.